Reasons Why You Shouldn't Mess With Jack Bauer

 Jack Bauer, First Of His Name

1) There has not been a terrorist attack in the United States since Jack Bauer first appeared on television.
2) Jack Bauer doesn’t need to search the internet, he just stares a computer down until it gives him the information he needs.
3) Jack Bauer sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Jack Bauer.
4) Jack Bauer is the only reason why Waldo is hiding.
5) Jack Bauer does not run out of ammunition. He simply lets everyone else have their moment to shine.
6) Jack Bauer is what Willis was talking about.
7) Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
8) Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That’s why there’s no life on Mars.
9) Jack Bauer’s tears cure cancer…It’s too bad Jack doesn’t cry.
10) Kiefer Sutherland drinks to forget all the terrible things Jack Bauer has done.